Every book has the “director’s cut” — the bits that were hilarious (at least to me), but either didn’t fit neatly into the science, or risked my children disowning me if they went to print. Here are a few of those stories.
1. The Fish Oil Fiasco
I once tried to impress a patient by showing her how committed I was to supplements.
Mid-sentence, I popped a fish oil capsule in my mouth… only for it to burst. If you’ve never experienced a mouthful of rancid sardine essence at 9 a.m. — may you continue to be so blessed. To this day, I swear the clinic smelled like a wet market for hours.
2. The Yoga Pants Illusion
In my forties, I once strutted into a yoga class in brand-new Lululemon tights, feeling youthful and sprightly — until I attempted a headstand and realised the fabric was not squat-proof. Nothing ages you faster than realising half the class has seen your underwear choice.
3. The “Miracle” Cream My Mum Bought
My mum once swore by a cream she bought at a pasar malam that claimed to “reverse aging overnight.” The ingredient list included snake oil — literally. She tried it for a week, then declared: “It works! My wrinkles are still there but now they look shiny.”
4. The Sleep Hack That Backfired
I once read a study about keeping your bedroom cool for better melatonin and deeper sleep. I got over-enthusiastic, set the aircon to 18°C, and ended up waking at 3 a.m. with what I thought was a stroke — turns out it was just my toes frozen solid.
5. The Auntie Supplement Wars
At a family dinner, my Auntie May and Auntie Rose got into an argument about which supplement kept them looking young: collagen vs. bird’s nest. It escalated until one whipped out a packet of Yàn’s bird’s nest from her handbag like a poker chip. Forget Vegas — Singapore aunties have their own high-stakes tables.
None of these made it into Stop Aging Like Milk because, well, they’re not exactly “peer-reviewed.” But if you enjoyed these, the book itself has the science and the sass.
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